Torn in Two
by WinterPlot
Summary: Sirius likes Remus, but he’s sure Remus doesn’t feel the same way. However, Remus’ alternate personality does. Unfortunately, Sirius didn’t fall in love with this new Remus. Meanwhile, Remus is becoming worried about the frequent gaps in his memory.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Torn in Two

Author: Miyu Hitozawa of deathdragonz

Rating: M

Summary: Sirius likes Remus, but he's sure Remus doesn't feel the same way. However, Remus' alternate personality does. Unfortunately, Sirius didn't fall in love with this new Remus who keeps pressing himself on Sirius. Meanwhile, Remus is getting worried about the frequent gaps in his memory.

Warnings: Slash: boy on boy, and if it offends you, don't read it. There are explicit scenes in here, so be careful if it's not your cup of tea. There's cussing in here as well.

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Chapter 1: Xha Kyrux

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Remus is bloody strong. I have to start out by saying that. It's something everyone should know, but most don't. The man's a werewolf, for fuck's sake! To live your life with a monster stuck inside of you... you have to be strong. And so do I. I love that man, and no, not brotherly love, but 'I want to fuck him into the ground to prove my love' type of love. And as much as I had prepared myself for the problems that the wolf inside him would cause, I never prepared myself for the other personality inside him. I didn't know 'he' was even there at first, but I had my suspicions. I don't know when it happened, but Remus wasn't all there. I'm not sure he ever was, what with his head in the clouds of angst, but perhaps I've always attributed it to his wolf side. I first came to my conclusion (the conclusion that there might be something more than the wolf in that complicated mind of his) when I walked into the dorm one day to find Remus jacking off on his bed. Now, let me set this straight: Remus NEVER wanks. I should know; I've lived with him for almost seven years. And with my undying love, you tend to look for anything that might say they like you back (like what name he says when he's jacking off) (which I've never learned because he NEVER does it). Besides, when he looked up at me, he wasn't embarrassed, or flustered like the real Remus would be; he just looked at me with hard, calculating eyes in an amused expression. Those are not Remus' eyes. He didn't even mention it to me when I saw him next. Just the way he acted made my confirmed my suspicions. Remus would never leave something like that in the air without explaining himself. This new Remus is obviously a different person pretending to be Remus, thinking he can pull it off. He doesn't fool me. I know Remus, the real one, too well. So, I've come to the conclusion: Someone has stolen my wolf.

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Sirius stalked up the Gryffindor boy's stairs to their dorms in order to confront this Remus imposter. He burst into the dorm to find Remus reading a book on his bed. Sirius' anger diminished because, right now, Remus was acting exactly like the real Remus would.

Sirius sank on Remus' bed by his feet. Remus raised an eyebrow at him in question. Sirius sighed, "We have to talk."

Remus dog-eared his page and set his book down. "Go ahead, Sirius."

"It's kinda about how you've been acting strangely lately."

Remus' head dropped to his chest then rose back up to meet Sirius with those hard eyes.

"I'm assuming you're speaking of me."

Slightly taken aback by the sudden change, Sirius pressed forward. "Who are you, and what have you done with Remus?"

The Remus look-a-like smiled sweetly. "My name's Xha, spelt X-H-A, not S-H-A like is sounds. Actually, Xha Kyrux, to be precise. What I've done with Remus doesn't really matter. He's safe, if that's what you're worried about."

Sirius grabbed his collar and pushed him backwards to pin him on the bed. "What the fuck have you done with Remus, you bastard!" Sirius growled, teeth barred.

Xha looked unfazed, and gazed coolly up at him. "You look sexy when you're mad and pinning me down to a bed."

Sirius shook him. "I don't fucking care! Where's Remus, you asshole!" Truly, he did care, because even though this was a different person, they looked exactly like Remus, and having even a different Remus pinned below him was arousing. Damn his hormones.

Xha smirked at him and moved his had to the crotch of Sirius' pants. "Doesn't seem like you don't care." He caressed Sirius' rapidly growing erection through the cloth of his pants.

Sirius bit back a groan. It had been so long since someone had touched him. His unrequited love of Remus left him with a vow of abstinence until he had Remus (whenever (if ever) that be). He had been fooling around with girls before, but when he almost yelled out Remus' name during one of his orgasms, he stopped. Now it was only him and his hand.

And Xha's hand felt so good.

Sirius dropped his head to Xha's shoulder and growled, "You bastard," Sirius thrust roughly into the hand, trying to hold back, "Where the fuck is Remus?"

"You're in no position to ask. I've got you by the crotch of your pants."

Sirius growled again and tried to still his movements, but failed miserably and just thrust deeper into Xha's moving hand.

"When was the last time someone touched you? Months?" You're a horny almost-17-year-old, it can't always be your hand."

"Ah, fuck. Please - please - just -"

"Fuck you? Don't stop?"

"Tell me - where Remus is."

Xha laughed quietly, "Okay, fine. I'll tell you." He pulled Sirius closer so that his mouth was beside the black-haired boy's ear. "He's in here." He said, and tapped his head. He gave one last, long stroke and Sirius came.

Sirius fumbled for his wand, not looking at Xha, and when he found it, he did a quick cleaning and drying spell, and hen looked back up at Xha. "What do you mean he's in your head?" he asked in a small voice.

"You look hot when you cum."

Sirius' anger flared back up again. "You bastard! I just asked you a question! Answer me properly!"

Xha just shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes. "It's kind of obvious isn't it? I'm his alternate personality." He wigged his eyebrows, then his head dropped, and came up with soft, shimmering amber eyes.

Sirius knew it was Remus.

Remus blinked up at him, and Sirius realized Remus' hand was still on his crotch.

"Sirius? Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" Remus continued to apologize while fighting the blush that was spreading across his face.

He squirmed out from underneath Sirius and bolted for the door. He was gone in a flash, and left Sirius wondering what the fuck had happened.

Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair. What was he supposed to do now? What was he supposed to say to Remus? And what was he going to do about Xha?

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Well, hum... what do you think? I think Sirius has a major problem. I also think I like Xha, he's kinda sadistic, isn't he? (I'm sorry it's so short! My stories are usually much longer, but this chapter seemed to only fit with this little. I promise that the other chapters (if you want them) will be longer.) Well, drop me a note to tell me if I should continue... Reviews are very welcome... flames are welcome as well because they're brain candy for Xha.


	2. Arisen

Title: Torn in Two  
Author: Winter Plot (Miyu Hitozawa)  
Rating: M   
Summary: Sirius likes Remus, but he's sure Remus doesn't feel the same way. However, Remus' alternate personality does. Unfortunately, Sirius didn't fall in love with this new Remus who keeps pressing himself on Sirius. Meanwhile, Remus is getting worried about the frequent gaps in his memory.  
Warnings: Slash: boy on boy, and if it offends you, don't read it. There are explicit scenes in here, so be careful if it's not your cup of tea. There's cussing in here as well.  
Sorry for the long delay in the next chapter, but even though I know EXACTLY where this is going, I just haven't had time to write anything. (Work, 'education', and all my traveling have set me back.) (I've been to LA, Cuba, Australia, and New Zealand to visit old friends in the last three months.) However, with the prodding I've been getting and all the beautiful people who have reviewed, I decided to sit down and write this chapter just for you... I do promise that I will do the same with 'Erotica', and 'Postal'. There is another fic (on the way) that I have been working on late into the night as well. Thank You for your support.  
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Chapter 2: Arisen  
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I was working on some potions homework in the common room. Something that, regrettably, had to be done. I think Peter and James were out by the lake trying to seduce Lily. Well, James tried, and Peter watched him fail miserably.  
No one was in the common room, it being a nice day and all, and Remus was up in the dorm. He'd been avoiding me since that day, and James has been giving us odd looks. But, as much as I'd have loved to go up there and talk to Remus, I didn't think he'd be too happy about it, what with us being alone and all.  
So, I was down in the common room trying to finish my potions. However, my mind was kind of preoccupied with thoughts about this 'Xha Kyrux' person. Unfortunately, being preoccupied with said thoughts meant that I didn't know Xha was creeping towards me until his lips were on mine.  
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It was quite a violent reaction, to say the least. But I suppose if ones lips are randomly attacked by an almost-stranger out of nowhere, you would hit them as hard as you could.  
And that's exactly what Sirius did.  
However, to not feel the slightest bit of guilt for hurting someone is quite out of line, which is why Xha was staring up at Sirius with puppy eyes.  
"You," Sirius growled, "are a bastard."  
Xha smiled at him "Wow, you're so impressive. You can already tell it's me and not Remus!"   
"You're very obvious." There were a couple moments of silence while Xha picked himself off the floor and settled into a seat across from Sirius. It was few more moments before Sirius spoke again. "Why did you decide to show yourself to me now?"  
Xha looked at him quizzically.  
"I mean," Sirius stuttered, "why didn't you tell me before?"  
Xha laughed. "Look how you're taking the news now! I figured I'd let you figure it out for yourself so you could get used to the idea. Didn't want to scare you too much."  
"You still scare the shit outta me." Sirius muttered.  
Xha sighed. "Look, I can tell you have questions for me, just ask, I don't mind."  
Sirius completely ignored him and turned back to his potions. After a few scratches of his quill, he stopped and placed his quill down and put his head in his hands. Sirius bit his lip, and then took a breath. "I'm not saying I'm accepting you, because I'm not, but, what's it like up in his mind?" Xha seemed to ponder it for a moment. "Like a text book," he finally said. "Everything filed away in respective places - school, friends, likes, dislikes, memories, dreams, fears, that sort of thing. A few which are locked to me are 'werewolf, love, and his conscience'. But, I bet if I took the time to look through his mind properly I would find that each section had subsections, page numbers and footnotes. Too neat, if you ask me."  
"Sorta like I always imagined." Sirius chuckled, still not facing Xha.  
"Why won't you look at me, Sirius?" Xha asked, leaning forward to tentatively touch Sirius' shoulder, which was immediately pulled away.  
"It's so strange to look at Remus' face and hear such strange words and grammar come from HIS mouth."  
"I'm sorry."  
Sirius looked up to catch sorry amber eyes that were Remus and Remus alone, but the jade twinkle that usually wasn't there told him that Xha was the one who was in control. "Fuck." And Sirius adverted his eyes again.  
"I really do love you Sirius." Xha said.  
"Fuck."   
"Please - "  
"Shut UP!" Sirius yelled. "How can you control Remus like that, you bastard! It's his life, his body! You can't just APPEAR and expect everything to be alright!"   
"I've been in his head for years, Sirius, I am Remus, a part of him, and if you love him like I suspect you do, you better live with it."  
Sirius' eyes flashed upward in anger. "And what makes you sure I 'love' him?"  
Xha smirked. "I have time Sirius, I sit back in his mind and watch things. While Remus has school and friendship on his mind, I can analyze things, and it's defiantly come to my attention that your feelings go far past friendship."  
"Don't make assumptions."  
"Don't assume I'm an idiot," Xha snarled.  
Sirius narrowed his eyes, "You're going to go back into that little head of yours -"   
"Remus'."  
"-and tell Remus you're sorry, and then never bother either of us again."  
"Sorry, but you're going to be the one to break the news to him that he's got another person living in his head. He's already in a fragile state of mind, I'm not sure how he'll react to the news."  
"He doesn't even know you're there!" Sirius howled.  
"Didn't want to hurt him."  
"'Didn't want to hurt him'? Bullshit! You're forcefully taking away his right to think and act for himself!"  
"I am him, Sirius." Xha explained calmly. "He made me, I'm part of his mind, and I belong here as much as he does. As much as you like me or not, I'm here. Remus would not be the Remus you know if I wasn't here. I'm not here to hurt either one of you, but I need my time, too. You can only spend so much time sipping rum and coke and watching the world around you."  
It took a moment, but the tension seemed to ease from Sirius' shoulders and he smiled slightly. He then stood up and started edging around the table. The look in Sirius' eyes told Xha he better get up NOW, or face the consequences.  
"Shit." Xha bolted, and Sirius flew after him. They dodged around tables and chairs, and back around again.  
Sirius wasn't sure what he was supposed to be feeling about Xha. He was taking away Remus' life, but he sounded so sincere, how was Sirius supposed to hate him? He was so confused, and when Sirius doesn't know what to do, he avoids it completely, so that's why he had upped and chased Xha. Almost like chasing his confusion away. But soon, Sirius forgot why the hell he was chasing Xha. "Get back here!" He yelled, a smile showing on his face. In a fine maneuver James would have been proud of, if he had been there to see it, Sirius managed to corner Xha.  
Xha looked at him and blinked. "Uh, oh." was all he said before he collapsed. Sirius ran forward, the game completely gone from his mind. As soon as he had Xha propped up, amber eyes opened and blinked at him innocently.  
"Sirius?" Remus asked, as if he was trying to clear cobwebs from his mind. "What happened? Last thing I remember I was sitting up on my bed in the dorm. Why am I down in the common room on the floor? Did I do something?"  
Sirius' mouth opened and closed, trying to think of an answer.  
Remus finally seemed to gather his thoughts and suddenly realized that the man holding him was none other than the person he was trying to avoid. "Oh, Sirius.." He quickly detangled himself from Sirius and stood up. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry!" And he bolted again, this time out of the portrait.  
Sirius picked himself off the floor, murderous thoughts of Xha filling his head. " 'Not here to hurt either one of you' my ass." He ran after Remus.  
Finally catching up numerous corridors and staircases later, he managed to grab hold of Remus by the wrist and pull him backwards. The two of them tumbled to the floor. As soon as Sirius wrapped his arms around him, Remus curled into his arms and cried.  
"Oh, god, Remus, let it out." Sirius whispered into Remus' hair.  
Through his sobs, Sirius managed to decipher "I'm so sorry, Sirius. I don't know what came over me yesterday. All I remember is you asking if we could talk about how I've been acting strangely. And then, I came to with my hand..." At that he trailed off into a new bout of tears.  
"It's okay, Remus. I- I tripped forward. It was an accident. Don't worry." Sirius lied.  
"I'm so scared Sirius." Remus cried. "I keep missing parts of my memory. There are times where I'm studying and suddenly I'm in the great hall and hours have passed. It's so scary Sirius! What's wrong with me?"  
"Nothing, Remus." Sirius lied again. "It's probably lack of sleep, or something. Don't worry about it. It'll go away. I promise."  
He sat there on the cold castle floor with Remus crying in his arms.

"I've got a dilemma on my hands."  
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Oh, dear. More mishaps. Xha still doesn't seem like he's there for much good, does he? He's very eccentric though, so you have to give him that.  
To reviewers - Thank you so much!  
Mitsuki: You're a bat. Keep bugging me to write, it pays off, dear.  
Pihkasiili: I'm not sure what to say to you... first, please, if you're going to criticize my work, please use the English language correctly (check your spelling and grammar). I will say thank you for your own idea as to what I should have done, but I did make the first chapter that way on purpose.  
Lily Lizard: I also adore an 'uncontrollable' Remus... so HOT!  
Lilia Black: I'm sorry for the strange name, but I was having so much trouble coming up with something that didn't sound really stupid like 'Bob', which, I will admit, was number one choice with 'George' trailing closely. It randomly came to me one day, and that was it... I hope you come to like it eventually like I have come to LOVE it... it's just sounds like such and exotic name that I figure I have to love it...  
Leanna: Issues? That boy is a walking ball of problems, which is why we love him! Thank you for the saying that 'Torn in Two' is original, I love hearing that... I like writing things that haven't come up somewhere before, gives a new spin on things... and thank you for saying that my 'no lead-up necessary' was properly taken. (Did you read that review? My friends and I laughed so hard over all the mistakes and strange words... though I really shouldn't be saying such things...) For you, I made another chapter! (and more to come!) I hope you like the rest of it as much as the first chapter, that's always my worry with longer fics - that people won't like the rest, or get tired of it... Thank you very much though!  
seanbiggerstaffrox: Thank you so much! I love Xha's name as well, I'm glad you do! I had wondered if anyone would ask why doesn't Sirius take Remus to be examined, but I think (from what the characters are telling me (and, yes, they do speak to me)) that Sirius doesn't want Remus to be caught up in something and be expelled, or something as dreadful. Thank you for adding this to your favorites; it lets me know that people enjoy my writing.  
The Miss Marauders: (aka Cazzy) Thank you for the review. I hope you come to like Xha, he's not as bad as he seems (and I hope you like the name!). Another chapter for you!  
And, for everyone else who reviewed, I cannot thank you enough; it makes me write more if I know people enjoy my stories.

And, if there's and questions, queries, comments or praise, click on the 'complaints department' button down there (That's the Review button).


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